is this wild or what?
that it is hard to know
from moment to moment
what to think--
or even how I feel.
it is all perfectly clear:
when in doubt
my brain has gone racing off
on unhelpful imaginary voyages of its own--
and in an effort to calm it down
all I can do
(short of panicking about toilet paper),
is to remember how useful it can be
when I shift my point of view
just a tiny bit.
I've been in training for this time
all my life.
Decades of making stuff
makes it seem obvious
to turn to the work of my hands
when things are less than ideal--
as well, of course
as when they are bloody marvelous.
on a ranch in the middle of the Idaho wilderness
where solitude was my daily companion
and I grocery shopped twice a year
(cuz, no road...or store...or people
or internet for that matter
since it hadn't been invented),
makes social isolation
still feel pretty normal.
filled with the extra special uncertainty
of my husband's pancreatic cancer diagnoses,
and the subsequent,
and astonishingly effective
(if seriously immune system compromising),
none of it is easy,
as you know,
and can't tell you how helpful
it has been
these many months
to draw that freaking out person
I sometimes am
(hard to believe, I know, but true ;-)
and to have a place
from which I can look back at myself,
and laugh, or commiserate, or whatever,
even while whatever it is
is still happening.
(Some day, maybe, I'll even share
a few chemo side effect comics...
but not today).
I want to thank you
for your company along the way --
and to say how much I appreciate
you coming here
and hanging out,
and giving me reasons
to keep sharing
the light in the shadows.
today and in the weeks and months of uncertainty
that most certainly lie ahead.
For while it can be crazy hard
to be in the middle of something
with no idea
how it is going to turn out,
(as we all are now),
to have companions along the way
who are also turning
their prodigious attention
to the making of things
that are perfectly ridiculous.
was there ever a better time?
I suddenly remember how much
I also want to thank you
for all the marvelous comments
in last week's post,
and say that there is not much to
these curled wire hangers
beyond that they are made
from 16 gauge wire
I found in the basement,
that I gently unroll
then twist about with my hands
(and sometimes a cheezy pair of pliers for the tight curves),
until the thing balances--
which sometimes takes a while.
pps. and one more quick more thought
on perfectly ridiculous projects --
weaving a bag on box is a prime example --
and also terrific
if you want to try your hand at weaving
and don't have a loom--
but do have a cardboard box!