Looking Back, Moving Forward

Little Canyon; 18" x 24"; Hand Woven Tapestry; wool, Lanaset dye. ©Sarah C. Swett 1993

Rebecca Mezoff has been writing about and  posting enticing photos of her dye process on her blog and on Instagram. 
Yesterday on the latter, she wrote this: ​
Oh those blues. Six pots done. Three more to do today. This is the thing I find people misunderstand the most about synthetic dyes. Every single color is dyed alone and all the dye in the pot ends up in the yarn. I will reuse that water tomorrow for different colors.

Twenty-Four Years ago in this magazine

Snort's Schnoz (detail); Hand Woven Tapestry. My First Spin Off cover!!!!

I too was in love with Lanaset.

At the time I wrote this, I had been weaving tapestry for about three years. It amazed me then and astonishes me still that Deb Robson, then editor of Spin Off, gave me this chance. I am ever grateful to her.

Those dyes are as amazing now as they were then,
​the blues truly spectacular.

Conflict Of Interest; Wool, Linen, Lanaset Dye ©Sarah C. Swett 1992

Conflict Of Interest (detail) Wool, Linen, Lanaset Dye ©Sarah C. Swett 1992

Peck Bathtub; Linen Warp, Wool Weft; Lanaset Dye ©Sarah C. Swett 1993

But somehow, five years after that first article
when I again got to write about tapestry for Spin Off,

Orange Blossom Special, my very third Spin Off Cover!

a few things had changed.

Reading these articles today for the first time in years (my computer has long since ceased to recognize the program I used back then to write them, and I'm not even sure I still have the floppy discs), I am struck by the clarity of vision.
Though I was a true beginner for the first article, and still a relative novice for the second, I seem to have been utterly confident in my processes even as I was making most of them up as I went along-- writing about one approach then changing my dyes, my design techniques and even some of my materials (no more linen warp), one after another, with little outside influence and no internet suggestions to push me this way or that.  
​
What possessed me to start weaving in all my ends and switch (almost overnight) to a complete natural dye palette when I clearly loved and was comfortable with the synthetic?
How did I know to trust whatever instinct suggested I start to start to use wool warp even though everything I heard/ read suggested cotton or linen?
Was it the confidence of youth?
My Brilliant Muse?
Happenstance?

Walking The Walk; 13" x 10" x6" hand woven tapestry, hand and commercially spun wool, wire, fishing swivels ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

By the same token, 
why am I now embroidering on tiny minimalist tapestries,
eschewing most color,
weaving messy words
​and hanging them all in mid air
just as interest in rich, colorful (often naturally dyed) pictorial tapestry is growing?
Can't blame youthful confidence this time.
Is it my fickle muse?
Or the Internet.

Oddments, Fragments, Scraps of Cloth; 18" x 13" x 4" ; hand woven tapestry, hand and commercially spun wool, wire, thread. ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

Yesterday, in a wonderful blog post about finding her artistic voice,
Summer Larson wrote this:
When I try to define my own artistic vision these same issues emerge. What is the “right” way to do things? Should I do it like person A? But I can see the value of doing it like person B and C, also. What will the experts think of what I have done? Will they like it as much as I do or will they see it as simplistic and childish? Will I look foolish for even pretending that this has value? Do they all know my deepest fear, that I really have no artistic ability after all? That there simply is no voice to be heard?

Rising Circles; 27" x 12" x 5" Hand woven tapestry, wool, natural dye, wire, wood ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

Her words resonated to my core.
They also generated even more questions.
How have I have kept moving all this time--
how, despite angst and uncertainty and endless internal conversations:
"Really Sarah, you already have all the stuff for Lanaset dyes
including that amazing book of Linda Knudson samples. It is ridiculous to switch"
and
"Nobody lets their warp show -- it isn't tapestry if the warp shows"
and 
"You've GOT to put a frog in it.  All your tapestries have frogs"
and
"Embroidering on your tapestries is sacrilege.
 Keep your media separate.
Remember, you don't approve of mixed media."

​I managed to stumble from this:

Breakfast: The Salmon River; linen warp; wool weft; Lanaset dye. ©Sarah C. Swett 1993

to this

Jane's Picnic III: Toast Marshmallows; 48" x 40"' Hand spun wool warp and weft; natural dye ©Sarah C. Swett 2000

to this.

Circular Knitting; Work in Progress. Hand woven tapestry, hand embroidery, wool, natural dyes, wire (steel and copper), Indigo Dyed Wood. ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

 I still love the older work.
Sometimes I  also miss making it and wonder if I should
revisit some of those beloved techniques.

At Least Not Right Now: 13" x 10" x6" hand woven tapestry, hand embroidery, hand spun wool, cotton, linen, indigo ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

But then again, I did try to weave a frog into a recent tapestry
and I couldn't make it work.
The frog refused to stay. 
​
So maybe I can't go back.

​Would I really want to anyway?

I'm just not sure 11" x 7" x 5" hand woven tapestry, hand embroidery wool, (hand spun and commercial), dye (natural and synthetic), steel wire, stone. ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

I suppose I really never will  know how things are going to turn out.

Studies in Grey; 12" x 14" x 14" Hand woven tapestry, wool, natural dye, wire, wood ©Sarah C. Swett 2016

The things I make will become the things I have made.
​
​What other choice is there?